FIC: the Twelve Years of Christmas
Dec. 15th, 2009 10:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
paulacasTitle: The Twelve Years of Christmas
Author: YanzaDracan
Fandom: Kane RPS
Pairing: Chris/Steve
Rating: FRT
Word count: 2,698 How’d that happen?
Summary: Have counteragent to sugar shock at the ready. I tried to ignore this bunny, but it kept chewing on my pant leg until it got to skin. My only excuse was extreme boredom & all the departments at work having a Christmas decorating contest.
Their first year of Christmas was no big deal. They hadn’t known each other very long. They were guys and guys didn’t worry about shit like Christmas gifts for drinkin’ buddies that sometimes played music with them.
Their second year of Christmas it was a bottle of everyone’s favorite poison. They were guys and good friends. They had written some songs, played at parties for friends and friends of friends. Chris knew some guys and Steve knew some guys and pretty soon they had this bar band thing happening. Steve was happy ‘cause as much as he loved to cook for friends and family—and even had a paper saying he was an excellent chef, but cooking as a job sucked. Chris was happy ‘cause he got to indulge in his first love, music, and had good friends that shared his love.
Their third year of Christmas they both had girlfriends. Steve’s relationship was fairly serious. They had ‘stuff’ at each other’s apartments, and she came to all the KANE gigs. Steve and Chris were writing kickass songs that the crowds in LA loved, and they were looking to self-produce a CD just to see if anyone would buy it. Chris landed a series and always had movies in the works. He and his best friend, David Boreanaz, were doing a series for Joss Whedon based on Boreanaz’s character Angel. Things were looking good.
Their fourth year of Christmas Steve was still with the same girl, but things were rocky. She was always on him about the time he spent with Chris. They probably wouldn’t be together come spring. Chris’ girl had dumped him hard several months ago and the moody bastard had slunk off to Tulsa to lick his wounds. They had gotten a CD produced and were selling them at their gigs and off Christian’s website. Steve’s manager had been bugging him to set one up and start taking advantage of his friendships with Christian Kane and Jensen Ackles to get some name recognition. He didn’t like the idea that he was taking advantage of his friends, but when the fans posted his name and picture along with Chris, Jensen, and Riley, it spread across the digital world like wildfire.
Their fifth year of Christmas Steve was taking total control of his music. He was fed up with the publisher letting his songs out without collecting royalties. His friends, Cris Judd and Darren Sher were starting their own recording studio in Las Vegas along with new talent development. He and a couple of the guys from KANE got together to form the Steve Carlson Band, for solo gigs. Chris was still a semi-regular on Angel. He hated the character, but loved working with Joss and Dave. The man never stopped. It was almost as if he was afraid he would catch himself if he slowed down. The only time Steve saw him was when they were onstage or rehearsing. Fed up, he finally sat on Chris until he told him about another failed relationship. He was exhausting his hurt in work. Steve proceeded to drag Chris to his parents’ house for Christmas since filming kept Chris from going to Oklahoma. When he’d fallen asleep on couch after dinner, he was curled against Steve’s side. His mother gave him a ‘Is there something I should know’ look. He’d just shrugged and thrown an afghan over Christian and settled in for his own after dinner nap.
Their sixth year of Christmas Christian had left Angel, but had set his schedule so his movies filmed around KANE tour dates. Steve and Chris were traveling to Nashville regularly at the whims of the publishing company, writing and recording. Sean and Eric were finalizing tour dates in Europe for the summer. Smoking Lion Records was becoming reality. Chris—well Chris was getting a little over the top. Steve was used to him being in his space, but now it was like he’d moved into Steve’s skin and made himself at home. KANE shows in Oklahoma and Texas had the band away from LA at Christmas so Chris took everyone to his mama’s house. His mother was tickled to meet the band and to see Steve again. His dad was looking a little shell-shocked at being invaded, but soon relaxed. Steve awakened Christmas eve night to find Christian gone. Knowing his habit of wandering until he felt drowsy enough to sleep, Steve’d gone hunting. He found mother and son in the living room—the only light coming from the huge Christmas tree. He stood in the shadows shamelessly eavesdropping. His breath and heart both stopped when in a soft stuttering voice, Christian Kane asked his mother if she’d still love him if the Stevie he fell in love with was a blond man instead of a woman. He’d started to breathe again as she’d pulled Chris into her arms and told him she didn’t care who he loved as long as he was happy though his daddy might take awhile to come around. Steve moved silently back to Chris’ room still in a state of shock. It also explained a lot of Chris’ behavior. Now all he had to do was figure out how he felt about what he’d overheard.
Their seventh year of Christmas Steve put out his first solo CD and was working on material for the next. Cris and Darren wanted something more appealing to the mainstream radio market. Eric and Sean had pulled together another tour for KANE in the US and Europe for the coming summer. There was a block of acoustic gigs with just him and Chris. Steve had finally wrapped his head around the fact Chris might be in love with him. He’d been waiting for Chris to make some kind of move and when three months had passed since the overheard conversation, Steve figured he’d imagined the whole thing. His libido was happy to let him know it still like curvy blondes as well as muscular brunettes. The next morning in typical Christian fashion, he’d charged into Steve’s room with a cup of coffee and a serious expression. He’d blinked sleepily at Chris grateful for the coffee when Chris ducked his head and shyly asked him if they could talk. Elated that Chris’d finally worked up the nerve to open up, Steve’d started to climb out of bed when he remembered he wasn’t alone. It was a scene out of a bad soap opera as his blonde pick-up stuck her head out from under the covers. Blue eyes widened as Chris snapped on his good ole boy façade so fast it left Steve dizzy. His own mother scolded him for his lack of patience and his relationship with Chris took a humungous step backwards. Their acoustic tour of England had repaired Steve’s gaff, but Chris refused to come completely out of his protective shell. Exasperated, Steve took Chris home with him at Thanksgiving and let his mother work her magic on the reluctant cowboy. No one resisted Sandra Carlson for long.
Their eighth year of Christmas found the men finally taking the step that merged everything. Though they’d been friends for eight years, this Christmas marked their first as lovers. They were both more comfortable with their selves and each other since the change in their relationship. It was as though they’d been waiting all those years on one another. They stared uncomprehendingly at Jensen the day they’d told him. Jensen shrugged and said it was about time they caught up with what everyone already knew. Steve Carlson and Christian Kane were the poster boys for ‘it’s not the package, it’s the soul inside’. They had recorded their acoustic shows in London and released a live CD that was doing remarkably well. The tour had given them time away from prying eyes to talk out their decision not to hide though there would be no public announcements. Their private life was just that—private. They started to settle.
Their ninth year of Christmas found them stranded at the Ackles’ home in Richardson where they had stopped on their way to Tulsa. Their ‘Live in London’ CD was selling steadily with better numbers then their first CD. Steve now had three solo CD’s and was thinking about doing a Christmas album for next year, but he wanted to apply his own unique twist. He was doing solo gigs as well as his shows with KANE. KANE was getting radio play in LA and nominations for a bunch of new artists’ awards. Joss Whedon had killed off the Angel characters when the network cancelled the show making Chris happy. Jensen landed a series that filmed in Vancouver so Steve and Chris started racking up the frequent flyer miles so Jensen could finish the background vocals he’d been doing for Steve’s CD. Steve and Jensen had been writing some songs Steve was thinking about using on the next one. Between KANE and movie roles Chris was too busy to get bored--dragging the singer along when Steve’s schedule allowed.
Their tenth year of Christmas they spent with Steve’s parents. They’d done Thanksgiving at the Kanes’ because of Chris’ schedule. They were staying at the Carlsons’ since it was close to the set, giving them the rare chance to be together while Chris worked without having to hide. It was one of their most memorable Christmases with plenty of pictures and video thanks to Steve’s mom and dad. Steve rubbed his fingers against the large piece of labradorite Christian had given him. It lay against his chest just above the silver guitar pick Chris’d given him on their first anniversary engraved with lyrics from ‘More Than I Deserve’. Chris had been just as stunned when he’d opened a box that held a silver guitar pick engraved with lyrics from ‘Pinata Novia’. It was the one piece of jewelry both men always wore.
Their eleventh year of Christmas was a rough and tumble year. Chris was in Nashville working on a CD then he went to Oklahoma while Steve was in LA working on a new CD. More of his music was showing up on television shows, and he was doing more solo gigs. Steve’s Christmas CD had shipped after Halloween. Chris had flown out to spend a couple of days in Tulsa, then he’d be going to Chicago to film a pilot for a new TNT series. Chris was really looking forward to being back on TNT and working with Dean Devlin, John Rogers and Tim Hutton plus being based in LA. He’d been away from Steve too much this year causing fine cracks to appear in their relationship and with KANE. Sony had made it clear after he’d signed their contract that they were only interested in him—he had the name recognition they wanted. He had to play the game their way or there would be no CD. He hoped to repair those cracks by taking Steve to Argentina with him when he filmed ‘Hide’. He often wondered if Steve was getting tired of putting up with his moody ass and sometimes thought the singer would be better off without him. He’d made it back to LA for the release of Steve’s Christmas CD. They were enjoying a rare evening together when Steve suggested they disband KANE. Cut to the bone, Chris slid behind his actor’s mask as they’d discussed the pros and cons while behind his ‘Christian Kane’ façade he was screaming his grief over the death of a dream. Steve, too distracted by his own thoughts to notice, led Chris to believe that Chris and their music had taken a backseat to everything else. Chris’ mama had given him a thwack across the back of the head for thinking such things, when he told her how he felt, but they seemed so far from each other that he couldn’t stop the doubts once they took root.
Their twelfth year of Christmas almost wasn’t. Career wise Christian Kane and Steve Carlson were on a roll. Chris had a hit television series, was starting to make a name as a fight coordinator, and pimping his lingerie line from Maverix. He had dozens of offers, but exhaustion from his battles with Sony often caused him to just sit and stare at the words wondering what the fuck he was trying to do. The words and music still swirled through his mind. He had pages and pages of songs he couldn’t sing because all he could do was stare at his guitar. Steve was in Vegas more than he was home, and when he was home he was preoccupied and distant. Chris had gone to Argentina alone, and the doubts that were mere shadows started to come to life. During dinner at the Carlsons’ Christian had announced that Dean was moving the series to Portland, Oregon in April, and he’d be there until September. Sandy and Chris had turned to Steve for his reaction, but the musician was engrossed in a stack of papers he’d been reading. Ducking his head so his hair hid his expression, Christian quickly stood to clear the table. At the use of his full name, Steve looked up from his work to his mother’s stormy face. She told him in no uncertain terms that if he didn’t love Christian anymore he should tell him so he could find someone who did love him. Confused at what she was talking about, Steve listened as she and his dad repeated the conversation from dinner. Chastised, he went in search of Christian only to find that after he’d cleaned up the kitchen, he’d left. Starting to panic he tried Chris’ mobile then the number at their house. Racing home he found Chris packing, his eyes red and swollen, but dry. Steve had talked, cajoled, and pleaded, but Chris had drawn into his protective shell. At the end of his emotional endurance he flatly stated his contact information was on the counter if Steve would ship his stuff to Portland, and walked away. Steve ran to their music room. His knees gave out as he saw Christian’s guitar and song notebook sitting in the same spot where they’d been for months. When he could breathe again, he called Jensen, who confirmed that Chris was headed for Vancouver, and whatever Steve had screwed up he better fix. It had taken work. Chris had barricaded himself behind his public face. Steve finally resorted to calling Eric and Jason. Eric approached Chris about playing gigs in Portland and inviting the members of KANE to play with him. Skeptical, Chris told him he’d think about it. He talked to Jason who said he knew a couple guys that could fill in on bass and drums if Steve was going to be on board. When he’d finally called Steve, the singer had breathed a sigh of relief and prayed his plan worked. The fan reaction had been overwhelming. Chris would get caught up in the moment, and turn to Steve like a flower to the sun. Careful not to push too fast, Steve reveled in the glimpses of the real Christian that peeked through. The week the spider bit his face had been their turning point. Under the protest of his doctor, Steve had taken his sick ass to Portland. Chris had taken one look at the pale swollen face and the walls around his heart crumbled. Steve spent the rest of the summer cajoling Chris back into their house and their bed. When Leverage wrapped in September, and Chris moved back to LA, it was to their home, and for the first time since March Steve took a breath.
The soft light of dawn edged around the opening in the drapes causing blue eyes to open. He knew he should get out of bed and prepare to feed a house full of people, but he was content to stay wrapped in the strong arms pinning him to a broad chest. Warm breath ghosted against his back. He sent a silent ‘thank you’ to any entity listening for his best Christmas gift ever.
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Date: 2009-12-16 08:59 am (UTC)oh that was beautiful and heartwrenching - i loved the waves and flow nad oh BOYS!
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Date: 2009-12-16 09:31 pm (UTC)thank u soooo much! it's simply beautiful!
great job.i love it very much!
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Date: 2009-12-17 12:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-17 09:16 am (UTC)Thank you s much for sharing.
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Date: 2009-12-19 07:39 am (UTC)I love the inclusion of all the little things we as fans
obsess overadore.And no one can resist Mama!Carlson!!!
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Date: 2009-12-19 12:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-25 12:21 pm (UTC)Merry Christmas & Blessings for the New Year to your and yours.
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Date: 2010-01-02 04:00 pm (UTC)In any case, this is wonderful darlin, I love the ebb and flow of their relationship and that it was Steve working to fix what he had inadvertently broken for once instead of Christian being the asshole.
Just lovely <3
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Date: 2010-01-02 11:50 pm (UTC)Radio played 12 days of Christmas which somehow converted into 'hey Christian & Steve have been together 12 years'. Can you tell I spend too much time alone in my own head?