In A Ball Of Red (2/5)

[paulacas]

Title: In A Ball Of Red

Author: YanzaDracan

Word Count: 3,705/24,622

See Masterpost for the rest.

 

In Calais, he crossed the English Channel, traveled to London where he booked passage on a steam ship to New Orleans. He hoped by the time he got to Louisiana the stabbing pain where Eliot lived in his soul would become be a dull ache he can ignore.
 

Between Calais and New York Harbor, Christian had a lot of time to think. He spent his days in discussions with the ship's doctor on new techniques and procedures. Some of the practices in Europe were far ahead of the States.
 

Nights he couldn't sleep, he played cards or roamed the decks like a restless ghost missing the feel of Eliot close by. By the time he disembarked in New York, he'd finally programmed his brain to not look for or depend on the presence of another. Alone and single were new words in his life.
 

Securing his belongings on the side-wheeler that would take him to New Orleans, he settled on deck with a cheroot and a beer--letting the bustle of the harbor soothe his tired mind.
 

Somewhere along the coast of South Carolina the reality of being 'home' started to sink into his bones. It had been three almost four years since they'd climbed on a boat with Buffalo Bill and sailed to England. Now sometime in the next three days he'd be in New Orleans.
 

Taking in a deep lungful of air he held it. Closing his eyes he pushed it all out. When he opened his eyes he was still alone and his soul still ached, but it was muted-not as sharp as it had been the month before. For the first time since he left Eliot, Christian felt like he might survive…alone.
 

When Eliot opened his eyes the first thing he saw was long blonde hair mixed with tight black curls. Parker was sprawled across his chest like a pup on a cushion. Alec was pressed tight to his side, his head tucked under Eliot's chin.
 

He savored the feelings of warmth, trust and home-things he'd only ever felt with Christian. He didn't understand how these two youngsters crawled into his heart so quickly and made themselves a home. While Alec being a man of color would hardly raise an eyebrow here, if they ever went back to the States they would surely kick up a ruckus.
 

He drifted for a few minutes until his sleep addled brain finally registered Christian, States, Parker, and Hardison. His first urge was to jump up and race through the adjoining door, but he didn't want to start a beautiful day scaring the wits out of his new lovers.
 

He smirked, entirely too satisfied at that thought. Why he wasn't mortified at the thought of having a male and female lover was a mere flicker across his brain. The thought of not having them scared him almost as badly as when Christian had been ill.
 

Speaking of his twin, he should probably go and explain to his brother how their family expanded overnight. He was startled out of his thoughts by Parker.
 

"You think too loud. " She muttered sleepily.
 

"Sorry, darlin'. I don't usually sleep this much."
 

"Good." She smirked, propping her chin on her fists still sprawled on his chest. "Means Alec and I are good for you."
 

"Yes, sweetheart, you are." He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "We should probably go tell Christian about you and Hardison joining the family."
 

Her eyes sparkled. "I like Christian. He doesn't think I'm strange. We understand each other." She scooted off the bed and skipped to the bathroom.
 

Eliot glanced from the softly snoring Alec to Parker, confused. They hadn't exchanged more than a few words with Christian though Parker and Christian would often watch each other unabashedly.
 

Eliot pulled on his pants and grinned as Alec buried his face in Eliot's pillow. He opened the adjoining door between the two rooms and stepped through into silence.
 

The bed was immaculate everything in place except Christian and his luggage. Eliot walked over to his valise. There in the folds was an envelope addressed to him in Christian's scrawl. Worried, but not yet panicked, Eliot unfolded the letter.

 

Eliot,
 

By the time you read this I will most likely be boarding a ship for America.

Eliot's knees gave out and his butt hit the carpet. Parker and Alec came looking for him when he didn't come back to their room.
 

"Eliot?" Hardison waved a hand in front of his face as Parker curled against his side.
 

"He's gone." He said softly.
 

"Who's gone."
 

"Christian."
 

Parker snatched the letter from his hand, and began to read out loud.
 

Eliot,

By the time you read this I will most likely be boarding a ship for America. I've watched you since we left Moscow, watched you with Nathan and Sophia and now with Parker and Hardison. You know them, understand them. They make your heart pound and your blood race. They bring you to life in a way that I can not. It was amazing to watch you, with whom I have shared my entire existence, Parker and Hardison, in just a few short hours go from being two separate parts to being a whole. They understand you as well as you understand them. You live and breathe the same rare air.
 

I can not share that air. I have stayed by your side, waiting for someone who could go with you to the places you want to go. Now you have them and my journey must continue-alone. I know you always wondered why I didn't share my experience from my passage into adulthood ritual, this is why. You would have done everything in your power to make sure the vision did not come true. You would have given up your happiness to cleave to my side, and I could not allow that to happen.
 

Though it tears through my soul to leave you-I must. Your path lies with Parker and Hardison, and I know that path would be much harder if you were to travel with me, so I have made the choice for both of us. Better to ask forgiveness than permission, right di-na-da-nv-tli? Be happy and allow your new loves to soothe the hurts that I have inflicted on your heart. I pray to the gods of our parents that we will one day be reunited in a place we can all be happy. Until then I hold you in my heart.

Christian

By the time she finished, tears streamed down their cheeks, as they wrapped around Eliot.
 

It was the afternoon sun that cast its long shadows throughout the room before the three moved from their spot propped against the bed. Alec and Parker gathered Eliot's belongings and moved them into their room. They informed the maid that the room was now free and gave her Eliot's key.
 

By the time they finished, Eliot had entrenched himself in the window seat with a decanter of whiskey and a glass. Alec put in an order to room service as Parker bore down on the brooding retrieval specialist. She snatched the decanter and the glass out his hands. Before he could protest, he had a lapful of squirming thief.
 

"Parker, Not a good time." Eliot growled low.
 

"He gave you to us, you know." Parker stilled, long legs wrapped around his slim waist.
 

Alec moved his legs so he could join them in the window seat, placing the bare feet in his lap running long fingers up and down Eliot's calves in a soothing rhythm.
 

"WHAT!" Eliot tried to move only to find himself pinned in place. "When? You three barely spoke to each other."
 

"No reason to." Alec kept up the soothing motion. "We all understood each other perfectly."
 

Eliot ran his hands through his hair, his agitation growing. "I don't understand."
 

"My Nana always said the heart sees more than the mind. Christian doesn't just read body language he can see your soul." Hardison's voice was so matter of fact that Eliot could only stare.
 

"He said I was as pretty on the inside as the out even after…" Her eyes started to fill.
 

Eliot unable to see her hurting pulled her close. "He was right, baby girl. He's always been right about these things. I was just too pig headed to see."
 

"So you're glad he gave you to us?" She sniffed, rubbing her eyes like a sleepy five year-old.
 

"If he had to give me to someone, I'm very glad it was you." Blue/grey eyes locked with brown over Parker's head.
 

Christian shouldered his canvas bag and guitar case leaving his hands free as he made his way into New Orleans proper. In Paris they'd laughed at his southern accented French, but here they smile warmly and point him in the right direction.
 

The hotel is reasonably priced and clean, run by a no nonsense woman with skin the color of cinnamon, hair white as snow, and eyes the color of old gold. In a good natured scold she calls a teenage boy over to show Christian his room.
 

"Yes 'm, Nana." He responds politely.
 

Christian stops dead in his tracks, and turns back to desk.
 

"Beggin' your pardon, ma'am." She turns back to him. "This might be a mite forward-me bein' a stranger and all, but is your husband's name Hiram?"
 

Her eyebrows rose. "Yes, God rest his soul it was, why do you ask, Mr. Kane?"
 

"You traveled with the Chautauqua shows." Christian reached into his inner coat pocket when she nodded.
 

"We did." Now she sounded suspicious.
 

"I was asked to give you this, should our paths ever cross." He handed her a thick envelope then turned to follow the boy to his room.
 

He explored the city a bit before returning to his hotel for an early supper. He replenished his medical supplies, his cigars, and his whiskey supply. He was enjoying an after dinner cigar and whiskey perusing a copy of The Picayune when his hostess approached. He started to stand.
 

"Sit…sit. I just wanted to thank you, Mr. Kane." Christian looked confused. "That envelope was from my son, Alec. I haven't heard from him in several years, and it does this old mother's heart good to know her boy is happy and well."
 

She pulled something out of her pocket and handed it to Christian. It was a picture of Eliot, Parker and Alec. Christian washed the lump in his throat down with the last of the whiskey in his glass before handing the picture back. She pushed his hand away.
 

"That's yours. I have my own." She patted her apron pocket. "Since you're here and Alec isn't, I take it the young man in the tintype is your brother?"
 

"Twin." Christian's voice was harsh. "Eliot. He goes by Spencer, not Kane."
 

"Tell me about, Eliot, Mr. Kane." She motioned one of her children over to refill Christian's glass.
 

Christian's chuckle was more hurt than humor.
 

"Since we're somewhat related you should call me Christian, Chris, Kane, but not mister." He smiled softly at the young girl that handed him his refilled glass.
 

Evangeline Hardison studied the young man in front of her. She saw the mountain of pain he hid behind the wall of politeness.
 

"Eliot is the handsome twin, has a quick mind, quicker fists, and will protect and love Parker and Alec to his last breath."
 

"Why did you leave?" She asked gently.
 

"It's not my place anymore." Christian looked into the bottom of his glass.
 

"You'll always have a place with your twin."
 

His expression said that he believed differently, but did not argue. He made to go inside.
 

"I thank you for the picture." He touched the brim of his hat. "Ma'am."
 

She didn't see him again until the next morning when he inquired as to where he could buy a good horse. She loaned him one of her saddle horses and directed him to one of her 'children' north of the city.
 

"Tell Elijah to treat you right or he'll answer to me." She patted his leg then stepped back.
 

"Yes ma'am."
 

"You call me Nana, boy, just like my other children. You're family now."
 

"Yes ma'am…Nana." He gave her a soft smile as he kneed the sorrel out of the courtyard.
 

He returned several hours later riding a tall rangy buckskin gelding, leading the sorrel and a bay carrying a pack saddle. He spent several days gathering supplies. When everyone had gone to church the following Sunday, he loaded his horses, and pointed the buckskin west.
 

His pace was leisurely-sometimes he stayed at inns or hotels, but more often than not he camped out allowing nature to begin healing the gaping wounds in his heart.
 

With only his horses for company, he tended to go for days without speaking though sometimes he would sing softly while caring for his animals or strum his guitar if he needed sounds other than the bayou's spring symphony. He was soon to the point where he didn't make small talk he simply said what he needed to with little interaction.
 

Money wasn't something he needed to worry about. Neither he nor Eliot were spendthrifts. As long as he wasn't overly extravagant he'd be fine the rest of his life.
 

As he drifted across homesteads and ranches, he'd pick up work here and there when they needed extra hands for rounding up cattle or breaking horses. He only stayed until the job was finished before moving on again.
 

His only tie to his former life was the letters he wrote to Evangeline Hardison. She was his link to his twin so he used her as a way to let Eliot know he was alive. Not really paying attention to what he wrote, he would fill the page until there were almost too many to fit into an envelope before sending them. If he would have stopped to read them he probably would have thrown them in the fire thinking he spent too much time alone and was becoming as unhinged as Parker, but to the person reading them, they became a heartbreaking recitation of inner workings of one man's soul.
 

Evangeline 'Nana' Hardison opened the thick envelope that had been delivered. It had been a year since Christian Kane had graced her establishment, but now as she read through his rambling missive it made her heart ache that she was the only person sharing his journey.
 

Another year passed and Evangeline had received six packets from Christian. His letters were full of beauty, excitement and loneliness. He told her about the ranches he'd worked and the nights the spirits walked his dreams. He never said where he was, but the scenery he described sounded like he'd been wandering southern and eastern Texas.
 

She carefully preserved all the letters hoping to someday receive one from Alec telling her that he was bringing Eliot and Parker home.
 

Kane guided the buckskin along the small river looking for a good campsite. Finding a spot, he stripped the gear off the horses before leading them to the river's edge to drink. Everything was fine until the wind changed direction. The buckskin snaked his long head around Kane, ears flat, blowing a challenge toward the young mesquite bushes.
 

Kane watched the bushes for whatever upset the geldings. Then he saw something the color of the sand move. Looping the leads around their necks so they wouldn't tangle in their legs, he approached the bush, his four legged guardians close behind.
 

Just in the shade of the bushes was a waterlogged burlap bag. Squatting down he knew he would only find death inside the bag, but he slit it open with his Bowie knife anyway.
 

Shoving his knife back in the sheath, he turned to see two bright eyes staring through the slit. Tearing the bag open, Kane found only a single pup. He pulled the shivering animal out of the bag. He started to stand, but was nearly toppled by his horses shoving their heads over his shoulders to inspect their find.
 

"Would you two nosy nags give me a little room?" He chided the large animals. "Think ya never saw a dog before."
 

He continued to mutter as they trailed him back to camp.
 

Pulling a dirty shirt out of his pack saddle, he dried the pup and checked him for injuries. He found only a few spots that were tender to the touch, but none life threatening.
 

Finally dry, he laid him on the foot of his bedroll where the small dog promptly went to sleep. Calling the horses in from where they'd wandered off to graze, he tethered them before going to check the snares he'd set on the way to the river.
 

As he shared part of his supper with his new friend, Kane studied the pup. He was coal black, and from his looks he would be about knee high when he was full grown. The only thing he could find out of the ordinary was the pup had blue eyes instead of brown.
 

They camped at the river for several days allowing Kane to do laundry, replenish some of his herbs and the pup he named River to recover from his ordeal.
 

With River perched in the swell of his saddle, man and animals continued their journey south.
 

A few months later he was finishing up a job breaking horses for the Army at a ranch a day's ride north of Corpus Christi. It gave River a chance to mature to the point where Kane no longer had to carry the pup on his saddle.
 

He was working with the final horse adjacent to the ranch's bull pens. One of the cowboys thought it'd be funny to play a prank by running one of the young bulls in with Kane and the green broke mustang.
 

Kane was able to keep the horse calm until someone yelled and clanged one of the metal gates causing the horse to rear. Overbalancing the mustang fell over backward, Kane trying to free himself and jump away from the falling horse.
 

The gelding scrambled to his feet leaving a stunned Kane in the dirt. The bull ignored the horse for the easier target not moving on the ground. A streak of black flashed across the corral and jumped straight into nipping the bull's back legs.
 

The cowboys got quiet as they watched the forty pound bundle of fury work the thousand pound bull over to the open gate then stood watch until someone closed the gate before running back to Kane, herding the horse in front of him.
 

Breathing harshly, but on his feet, he praised River before moving to check the horse for injuries while speaking softly and nursing his own bruised ribs.
 

An angry shout from the foreman had cowboys scattering in a hurry while three bruised and dusty critters headed for the gate to the stable yard.
 

Kane took extra time with the trembling horse, brushing him down, half talking-half singing, alternating languages so the gelding paid attention to the gentle treatment and forgot the trauma of the afternoon.
 

His attention returned to his surroundings when River gave a warning growl. When he turned, the owner and three other men were standing a few feet from the black dog.
 

"Kane. These gentlemen would like a word." His boss called out.
 

Giving the mustang a final pat, he slipped off its halter, freeing the horse into the corral with the other Army horses.
 

"This is Chris Carlson and Jeff Morgan. They own spreads halfway between here and San Antonio." He turned to the third man. "This is James Sterling, he deals in exotic blood stock. Sold Chris and Jeff here some of them English cows… Shorthorns I think he called 'em."
 

"A pleasure, Mr. Kane, your reputation precedes you." Sterling held out his hand.
 

"It's just Kane." He shook the men's hands. "I have a reputation?" He arched an eyebrow in question.
 

His boss laughed. "Hell, boy, you show up outta nowhere, take a buncha rank mustangs and turn 'em into sweet tempered ladies' horses, then ride off into the sunset. 'Course ya got a reputation."
 

"Bein' a 'breed' don't hurt none either." Morgan's grin had an edge to it.
 

"Got a problem with 'breeds', Morgan?" Kane and River both growled.
 

Morgan's grin lit his whole face. "Nope. Just checkin' to see if you did."
 

"I've been called worse by better people than use that term." His posture relaxed, River sat and leaned against his leg.
 

"If we're done with the pissin' contest, gentlemen." Carlson stepped forward. "I'd like to offer you a job…a full-time, no riding off into the sunset job."
 

"What sorta job?" Kane was tired of roaming. He'd been looking for a place to settle.
 

"Training horses for me," He glanced over at Jeff, "and Morgan when things are slow at the Twin C."
 

"Ya mean cow ponies?"
 

"In a way. It's a new breed known as the Quarter Horse. We've taken the local mustangs and crossed them with Thoroughbreds, which gives us a horse with size that's good for working cattle and the fastest thing on four legs in the quarter mile. They're a good all around horse, but we want some specialty horses, too. Cutting, roping, maybe even racing."
 

"Ambitious project." Kane tried to sound impersonal, but his mind was racing.
 

"My son, Steven and I feel it's a sound one. Lots of potential once we garner a reputation."
 

"I was just 'bout finished up here, anyway. Lucky ya caught me when ya did." Kane eyed his boss.
 

I'll draw your pay, Kane. These boys'll movin' out at first light."
 

"We'll wait while you settle your business, Kane. You can ride back to camp with us." Chris stated.
 

"I'll get my gear. I 'preciate the opportunity, Mr. Carlson."
 

"It's Chris. We're a small operation and not very formal. You'll meet Steven and my wife Sandra when we get back to camp."
 

Kane tugged the brim of his hat in acknowledgment before moving to follow his former boss to the big house.